Well, what it is, I've had to quit all my WendWriter accounts. There's nothing to follow any more, okay? I won't be adding to or updating anything here again. The reason is, whatever the law says, in practice, if you're being stalked online, you're on your own. No-one gives a damn. According to my research, even if you're rich, it's actually more trouble than it's worth to track down the trolls, get them to court and make them stop. If they want to come after you, they will, and there's nothing anyone is willing to do about it.
The usual advice is, "Just ignore them." That's coward/couldn't-care-less for "Tolerate them. We do." I didn't know that till I found out the hard way. People would rather blame me, the victim, for being the subject of a slander campaign that spread across unknown numbers of websites. I'm told there are at least four. The point is, when you've got that much heat on, people would rather throw you to the wolves or walk away than offer support because they don't want that stuff coming their way. While it's hard to blame them, it's not much of an excuse. Even my so-called friends "have their doubts." I can't continue relationships in which I'm basically on probation, so forget it, I'm out. I've cut contact with them and banned them from all my stuff because I've had it with their cowardice and lack of support. Friends are supposed to stick by you, aren't they? Heaven knows I stuck by them when it counted. I'm not chasing after anyone who will not do the same for me. I'm worth more than that, and if I'm not, I should be. If I give loyalty (and Heaven knows I did), I expect to get it.
Forget about updates for my fanfiction stories. Ain't gonna happen. Anything linked to my ff.net account will not be linked to other sources, nor will I post stuff in Google Docs. As long as it is okay for people to stalk, harass and slander other people with impunity, I won't be a part of those places. I certainly won't continue to use a penname that attracts the wrong kind of attention.
The fact is, the only way to beat trolls sometimes is not to ignore/tolerate or even go troll yourself. If you don't want to be driven off the internet altogether, just quit your usual haunts and start all over again elsewhere. Thank goodness I don't do anything public with my real name. I can be naive sometimes, but I'm not that bloody stupid.
They do know my real name, of course. One of my so-called friends turned on me and joined them. No doubt she passed that information on to make it easier for them to stalk me. I find that easy to believe because she brought up a load of trivial issues that could have and should have been dealt with in private and published them in an "Open Letter to Wendy" on at least four websites. I mean, one of the things she had against me was the number of stories I had posted on an archive website. I admit I get critical about stuff sometimes, but the number of stories posted on an archive? WTF? I'm not going to return the "favour." I'm better than that.
"I won't give up on you if you don't give up on me," my arse! If she can do that, what can't she do? At what point would she say, "No, I wouldn't sink that low"? Honestly, I don't want to know. I wouldn't stoop to name her here. She knows who she is, and the stalkers will see to it that she finds out about this post. I presume they'll present it with their usual agit-prop analysis. They hover like starving vultures over my e-spaces, waiting for updates so they can post comments about them on their usual haunts, presenting me as a monster or object of derision and inviting others to add their own (usually negative) opinions. This policy, carried out on any number of websites and forums, led to repeated trolling on my ff.net forum, and is the main reason people have turned against me. I once read someone's comment that they'd trolled me because they were sick of hearing about me. Well, I'm not responsible for their having heard about me, am I? Hell, no. People like that just want a target and an excuse to go after that target. They sided with my stalkers for providing them with one.
Other things I wouldn't stoop to include the publication of a compromising email in which she made a voting pact with me for a writing contest we took part in last year. Damn, I'm tempted to screencap it and publish it. It wouldn't matter for my part, since I'm never taking part in the Tolkien fandom contests I formerly did (yes, I agreed to it and yes, I did the same thing), but if she is, it would sink her. I'm a better person than that, so it's staying in my email archive until I either delete it or find a good enough reason to put it up where everyone can see it. Oh, but she would SO deserve it. What's holding me back? Everyone else does it. She'd only get punished for being dobbed in. What about the others who do it?
Apparently, she thinks I owe her something, but anything I ever owed her has been utterly negated by her appalling behaviour. I can't be bothered to find out if she ever comes to regret what she did and I doubt I'll find out because I don't go to those sites any more. Besides, I've banned her from my stuff. I don't want to hear from her again because she's got nothing to say that I want to know about. I understand that all those people have made themselves unpopular because their slander campaign has forced me out of fandom, but that's their problem -- it's certainly not my fault. I didn't force them to run around making negative comments everywhere and demand that others join them. Credit where it's due to those who refused to do so.
I should point out that there are some decent people with whom I continue to have dealings, but obviously I can't make the details public. Thanks for sticking by me, friends.
Apparently, she thinks I owe her something, but anything I ever owed her has been utterly negated by her appalling behaviour. I can't be bothered to find out if she ever comes to regret what she did and I doubt I'll find out because I don't go to those sites any more. Besides, I've banned her from my stuff. I don't want to hear from her again because she's got nothing to say that I want to know about. I understand that all those people have made themselves unpopular because their slander campaign has forced me out of fandom, but that's their problem -- it's certainly not my fault. I didn't force them to run around making negative comments everywhere and demand that others join them. Credit where it's due to those who refused to do so.
I should point out that there are some decent people with whom I continue to have dealings, but obviously I can't make the details public. Thanks for sticking by me, friends.
I tell you, if anyone ever comes to you whining about another person and how they did them wrong, tell them to just ban them and forget about it. Refuse to fight their battles for them. That has always been my policy. I don't get involved with campaigns against people to make negative comments about them and encourage others to think badly of them, and I side with the underdog on principle. This tends to get me into trouble in a world where I'm expected to join in the feeding frenzy when someone is a target. Whether I agree with the target or not, I don't like the feeding frenzy thing and I'll never get involved in one. This is one of the issues they have with me. Standing with a target apparently puts me in league with her. Whatever! I don't approve of ED articles inviting people to abuse or commit abuse against others, whether they are pregnant or not, okay? Just sayin'. And if that makes me a bad guy, so be it. I reserve the right to complain about such behaviour against myself, or indeed other people, but I don't go looking for people to agree with me in public.
The most I'd do on someone else's behalf is to ban the people they have issues with from my stuff. That's it. If you don't take this advice, you may find yourself dragged into something that ultimately pulls you and a lot of other people down, and you might never recover. And you'll appear to drop IQ points. I've seen that before. That's the trouble with publicly bullying someone or expressing support for others who do: you don't half spout rubbish at those times! Did you know I have at least one power base? Yeah... that was from someone I used to be reasonably friendly with, who took to hanging out with them. She turned against the subject of the ED article, whom she called herself a friend of, at about the same time. Ah, such loyalty!
They've got a knack for making people see me as an ugly, twisted, monstrous creature, particularly if we got on well before. That's the thing I find hard to understand. Total strangers coming at me like rabid rottweilers, now -- that's insane, but a standard thing with them. It's one of those things I used to have to put up with on ff.net. People I'd never heard of would come to my e-spaces and freak out at me for real and imaginary -- mostly imaginary offences. The real stuff was old -- and trivial. I'm a knownpuppy-killer sporker and flamer, don't you know -- stuff I quit doing years ago. Yeah. Evil, right here. It's all documented on my Livejournal blog, which is linked in my blogroll in the sidebar.
They've got a knack for making people see me as an ugly, twisted, monstrous creature, particularly if we got on well before. That's the thing I find hard to understand. Total strangers coming at me like rabid rottweilers, now -- that's insane, but a standard thing with them. It's one of those things I used to have to put up with on ff.net. People I'd never heard of would come to my e-spaces and freak out at me for real and imaginary -- mostly imaginary offences. The real stuff was old -- and trivial. I'm a known
Well, I quit, not out of fear, but because having to deal with the fallout of "Wendy is EEEEEVILLLL!!!1one1eleventyone!!" and "Wendy bans people who disagree with her!" (apparently, this is on the level of eating newborn babies or something) and "Wendy won't let me win prizes in her contest!" has burned me out. I was able to take it when I had some support, but with none, it's not worth it. As an acquaintance of mine put it once, "Anyone who is so quick to believe bad things about you was never your friend." Well, I can't be bothered to associate with people who don't care about me, so toodles!
There's nothing more to report or offer an opinion on, fandom-wise. As for the internet, people do what they like until someone finds a way to call them to account for it. I can't afford the expense, so I'll have to leave it. The fandom sites I used to post on are no-go areas now because I've seen for myself that there's nothing for me there. Certainly not friendship or even fellowship. I've got little in common with the self-serving cowards and hypocrites who demanded that I reward abusers with online prizes for my contests. Would they do the same thing? The last person I asked that question of wouldn't give me a straight answer. She kept changing the subject when put on the spot. I don't do that. If I'm asked a question directly, I'll answer it directly and without making excuses or trivializing anything. The only time I won't is when I'm expected to take part in an online slanging match which is basically an invitation to be mobbed. I've seen them do it before. I want no part of it. Besides, I don't have to answer to them for anything.
You've got to love people who claim they have no time for drama, but associate with drama-mongers and support their campaigns, piling in on top of me to berate me without checking the facts first, then stonewalling or flipping out when I point out the provable facts to them. And don't get me started on the one who told me I should f-lock a post on my LJ proving my points, and completely ignored the content thereof. They're welcome to each other. There's nothing in fandom that interests me now. The whole experience has been like eating and enjoying a chocolate fudge cake, then getting to the middle and discovering a dead mouse in there. I've been put right off.
There's nothing more to report or offer an opinion on, fandom-wise. As for the internet, people do what they like until someone finds a way to call them to account for it. I can't afford the expense, so I'll have to leave it. The fandom sites I used to post on are no-go areas now because I've seen for myself that there's nothing for me there. Certainly not friendship or even fellowship. I've got little in common with the self-serving cowards and hypocrites who demanded that I reward abusers with online prizes for my contests. Would they do the same thing? The last person I asked that question of wouldn't give me a straight answer. She kept changing the subject when put on the spot. I don't do that. If I'm asked a question directly, I'll answer it directly and without making excuses or trivializing anything. The only time I won't is when I'm expected to take part in an online slanging match which is basically an invitation to be mobbed. I've seen them do it before. I want no part of it. Besides, I don't have to answer to them for anything.
You've got to love people who claim they have no time for drama, but associate with drama-mongers and support their campaigns, piling in on top of me to berate me without checking the facts first, then stonewalling or flipping out when I point out the provable facts to them. And don't get me started on the one who told me I should f-lock a post on my LJ proving my points, and completely ignored the content thereof. They're welcome to each other. There's nothing in fandom that interests me now. The whole experience has been like eating and enjoying a chocolate fudge cake, then getting to the middle and discovering a dead mouse in there. I've been put right off.
If you think I'm overreacting, wait till it's your turn, and see if the usual platitudes will comfort you any more than they did me. To be a target is to be alone, but you're only a target if you're visible. I refuse to be a target. Not any more.
I've left my stuff up to remind the people in the know that there was a fanfiction writer called Wendy, and that they allowed her to be driven offline when they could have and should have done something about it. And I'm not the only one. I want them to read this and be ashamed of their cowardice and complicity. And I want to remind them that, if it can happen to someone as visible as I was, it can happen to any one of them -- and they'll get about the same amount of help and support than I did: none. I presume they knew that already when the latest round of slander and wank went off, but what does that tell you about who they are? Who the Hell spends any amount of time with people they know full well don't give a damn about them? Not me. I don't get that, and want no part of it. And that's why this is the last post I'm making here.
Just sayin'.
I've left my stuff up to remind the people in the know that there was a fanfiction writer called Wendy, and that they allowed her to be driven offline when they could have and should have done something about it. And I'm not the only one. I want them to read this and be ashamed of their cowardice and complicity. And I want to remind them that, if it can happen to someone as visible as I was, it can happen to any one of them -- and they'll get about the same amount of help and support than I did: none. I presume they knew that already when the latest round of slander and wank went off, but what does that tell you about who they are? Who the Hell spends any amount of time with people they know full well don't give a damn about them? Not me. I don't get that, and want no part of it. And that's why this is the last post I'm making here.
Just sayin'.
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